My First Book

Before writing my first book, I had grand ideas in my head about what it would be like to write one. Of course it would win a Pulitzer Prize, and I would choose to write another because I loved writing, not because my first book wasn't a #1 New York Times bestseller. See, in my head I was already a fabulous writer who could sit down and write a perfect, 400 page work, in less than a year. Are you laughing yet?

I would say that I am a gifted writer. Definitely not a punctuation princess or a grammar gal, but I can tell a story and convey emotion. However, that did not prepare me for how hard it would actually be to write it all down. Tragically, stories are still a lot better in my head than they are on the page, but I have come to the conclusion that in order to get better at writing, I have to actually write. Shocking. Groundbreaking. I know.

So here I am, writing. My attempts are sometimes feeble, but every once in while I have a breakthrough of pure inspiration and I mutter, "this is gold," to either myself of my dear friend Kirsten who lets me write at her house until the wee hours of the morning without complaint. I couldn't have done this without her.

Being a mom and a writer is funny, though. When I finished this book it had been on a weekend writing spree. I wrote the last half of it in three days, and I was so dang proud when I finished. Then I looked around my house at the laundry that hadn't been done and the mess that surrounded me from my two little girls, and I cried; my pride seeping out of me in tears of frustration and inadequacy. I had just written my first book, but I couldn't even feel accomplished because my house was messy. What a joke!

So, on this, my first rodeo, I have learned some valuable lessons about writing, and they are:

• Fight the resistance. Anything great that you want to do in life will be met with resistance, and it is a struggle to get myself in front of the computer to write. Often, it means leaving the kitchen sink full of dishes, and laundry left unfolded. Whatever is holding you back from creating, fight it, and just get to work.
• Be your own authority. Don't wait for someone to tell you that you're a writer—just start writing.
• Practice. You can't get better at writing if you don't write.
• Ask for advice. Don't be afraid to contact your favorite author and express your interest in writing. The most valuable lesson I have learned so far is that other writers will usually jump at the chance to help you be better. Find your tribe.
• Be your own biggest fan. There will be plenty of critics out there, your job is to be your own biggest fan. Write what you love. If you feel something when you are writing, chances are, people will feel it when they read it. Emotion transcends words, that's what makes writing so beautiful.
• It's ok to be selfish sometimes. I battled feeling selfish for spending time writing for years (self-imposed). I felt an incessant pull to my keyboard—fragments of stories constantly floated around in my head, begging to be written down. I would tell myself I didn't have time to write because I was already falling short taking care of everyone else. Don't believe that. Make the time. Life will keep marching forward and it really doesn't matter if your house is a little cluttered. The circumstances will never be perfect.
• Your voice is valuable. The greatest lie of them all is that no one wants to hear what you have to say. Not everyone will want to read what you write. That's ok. You're writing for the people who will.